Now that you are grieving, now that you have such an early – is always early to say good bye to our loved ones – event that will for sure make a before and an after in your life. Now, that everyone will tell you how sorry they are, how much they want you to feel better soon about it, now, i want to tell you:
It is just fine to feel like shit! It’s alright to feel fucked up by life! To ask Why The Fuck!, to regret, and cry like a baby boy that crawls all over the bed with zero will to get up. That is just right!
You know why? Because it is bullshit that you can just feel grateful and let her go. It is a lie that you can just move on. No one ever moves on from that. You live with it. You miss her hands. Her love. Her phone calls. You just get to miss every little detail. And that is painful sometimes, and beautiful!
Don’t rush it in getting used to her absence, this momentum has a lot to grow in you. It is a decisive moment where all the things she taught you will find their final and definitive way in the core of your life, for ever. It is the moment where all the things you once forgot will awaken vividly and will shape a new you. A you that looks a lot like her, inside!
Be total, and by total I mean to recognize this process in you and let it flow. Be total by letting it live and destroy you and rebuild you, reshape you, redefine you, wiser, deeper, truest, stronger, more alive than ever!
I have always think that missing someone has a tremendous power to bring out our deepest and sincerest self.
I love that, and you will learn to love that too!
With this lettler, and my single presence, i support you now, your grief, your process, your beautiful per sè !
Keep walking, it will be just fine!